This is a Guest Blog by my friend who so happens to also play drums at FUSION Church. Enjoy!

Heart of the Artist

by Justin “JP” Powell

There are times in life
When your faith is shaking
and your heart pounds so deeply in your chest
There’s such a longing
a deep desire for so much more
You hope and pray for more
but the hope slowly fades and prayer just turns to guilt

A quiet voice says to fight
you should stand strong for what you want
On a foundation of doubt
and you have nothing to fight from
You could take swing after swing
but miss every time
When you don’t know what to aim for
you’ll miss every time

It’s times like these
When you look to see the horizon
and all you see is dirt
The dirt on your face
from the fall that you never saw coming
It doesn’t matter who warns you
you will never see it coming

Like a thief
it’s a ninja of darkness

There’s a million reasons
maybe even more
Lies that you will tell yourself
reassurances that you don’t even believe yourself.

You’ll pat yourself on the back
and congratulate yourself for fake accomplishments
You’ll amaze yourself
convince yourself that they were all wrong
You’ll hate yourself
convince yourself they were all right

There are alternatives
different ways to avoid the darkness of passion
You can stuff it deep
maybe even convince yourself that you never had it
You can laugh it off
pretend it was just a phase and try to save face
You can die inside
just tell yourself it was a bad dream and pretend it never happened

Passion without pain
Love without hate
Plus without negative
Black without white
Light without dark
They exist as a solo
but are realized to a depth against the other

To have passion is to suffer
to have suffered is to have been passionate

When you find the things closest to your heart
you find your place of weakest defense
When you know what IT is,
you can find the ways to protect it
to fight for it
to make it your greatest fight
an epic fight

I’m a creative
I think mostly with my right brain
You could ask those around me,
but I’d guess that I get all the bad characteristics of the left
I could hate the life that has darkness
but I have to remember the lightness of the past
I could totally buy into my self lies
but I MUST listen to the trusted voices that surround me

I have given up
I have been to the lowest of many places
But, I must be stubborn
because I’m still at it now
pushing through another day
still hoping for new day
still praying through my own self loathing
If I were relying on myself alone
I would never make it